CATSANOVA

One of my cats likes to go outside. There's nothing behind my condo but grass, trees, and the Cumberland River. Also, there's not a walkway thru the condos. In order to get to the back from the parking lot, you would have to go all the way around the whole complex. Point being, it's mostly secluded.

He stays out for a couple of days, more or less, then comes back home. Yesterday he came home with a purple collar with rhinestones all over it. I figured it was my neighbors Jay & Laura. They live a few buildings down and they know who he is since he hangs out there sometimes.

The next day, Laura knocks on my door...

"Hi, did your cat come home yet?"

"Yep, he showed up yesterday. By the way, did you give him a collar?"

"No, we didn't. But I wanted to give you this note...it was attached to that collar, (laughing) I pulled it off yesterday when he came over to our house."

The note reads...

"This cat hangs out here alot and I want to make sure he's ok so I was wondering. Does he belong to someone? Does he have his shots? Is he fixed? I'm in #___ and my phone# is ___. My name is Melissa. I am very fond of him."

At this point, I started to realize that my cat isn't going outside to quell his wild instincts, get back to nature, hang out with the wild cats on the river, and live by his wits. Oh no...this punk is going door to door, meowing his way into people's homes, and eating like a king! I'm waiting for him to show up on someone's Christmas card for cryin' out loud.

The picture above shows him with his Marvin the Martian toy. I got it from one of those claw machines. He used to drag that thing all over the house, upstairs and down. He would take it to bed, sleep with it. It was so funny because it was about as big as he was. You'd hear this 'thump-thump-thump-MEOW-thump-thump...all the way down the stairs. And now he never plays with it anymore. I guess Marvin got his walkin' papers.

THE BAIL OUT

I am completely against this bail-out. To me, it seems like it allows all these rich people to gamble money without consequence. They made their bed, let them sell that if they need money.

I don't care if someone in debt to their ears can't get a new car loan. If you cannot afford to buy a house, rent a small apartment. I am single, I rent a condo, I have a 10 year old car with 180k miles on it. I don't get ANY tax breaks. I don't have any outstanding loans or mortgages. The fact that some billionaire lost his shirt in the stock market doesn't really panic me. If you were rich and now you're not, go get a job! Find out what it's like for people who work two jobs to make ends meet. Find out what it's like for an elderly person to have to go back to work at McDonalds or WalMart because their Social Security benefits have been cut to shreds.

Do you want to know how to reform Washington? Reform welfare? Fix Wall Street? I have the solution...Let some of the rich people in Washington and on Wall Street become poor and live like the rest of us. That should get the ball rolling. Maybe then we could get some decisions that actually help the lives of people in this country who REALLY need the help.

THE BEST WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME

If you want to watch a bad, bad, BAD movie, I recommend "Can't Stop the Music". It's set in New York in the 70's. I personally love a good bad movie. Not so much to watch, but to crack jokes about. Well this film is a wet-dream of bad cinema.

The cast should sum it up for you...Valerie Perrine, The Village People, a young Steve Guttenberg, and Bruce Jenner, back when he looked like a human. He wears some seriously short jean cut-offs and a pink half-shirt while roaming thru Greenwich Village with The Village People. Even in that get-up I have to say, Bruce was a fox. Why he ever had all that surgery is a mystery to me.

Personally, I advise getting a few friends, order pizza, have a couple of drinks, roll a FAT joint or three, and prepare to laugh your ass off. Fun for the whole family.

THE WEEKEND

Saturday:

We had a fun weekend here in Nashvegas. Saturday I took Bouncer (Teabag Jones) to the Nashville Dog Day Festival. What a blast. Hundreds of dogs and their owners in Centennial Park enjoying the day. There were some really exotic breeds of dog there that I had never even seen in person.

Bouncer had a good time. He's very good with other dogs, cats, kids, etc. The one thing that absolutely slays me is his crazy sniffing behavior. When Bouncer hits the dog park or any place where there are, or have been, other dogs, he goes into this wild-eyed sniffing frenzy. His eyes glaze over, he gets real crazy pulling on his leash, he starts drooling, he tries to hike on everything he can like he's leaving his mark...except his bladder emptied about a mile back. He was possessed. Fitz calls the walking/sniffing outing a "Sniffari". I love that word...cracks me up to this day.


Sunday:

Sunday was pretty low key. Watched some football, did some laundry (my least favorite of all chores), and then went for a bike ride around the Bicentennial Capitol Mall. What a cool place. I had never gone down there and spent any significant amount of time. It's really an amazing park with some unbelievable architecture. Really a fun and interesting place to be. It also dawned on me that I haven't had my own bicycle since I was in my early teens. In high school I had a moped, then a motorbike, and then I got a car.

I can't believe I went so long without getting another bicycle. It's inspired me to remember other fun stuff from childhood that could cross over into my adult life...which is why I am organizing a giant game of duck-duck-goose next weekend. Be there or be square.

THE SLEDGEHAMMER

Yesterday I picked up my new bike which my sister has named The Sledgehammer. It's really cool and I'm having a blast with it. My neighbors are big into cycling so they helped me out with some good advice on what to look for. They also know all the great trails.

Next up for me is some roller blades. With those I can take Bouncer and run him around on his leash at Centennial Park and the Parthenon. Some quality father/son time. :)